Social Anxieties Can Be Formed by One's Environment
One of the reasons that cause social anxiety is environmental. This basically means there was a traumatic event that took place during one’s life and they tend to be anxious around people. An example of this would be if a child grows up with parents that are very authoritative and abusive. This child may grow up being afraid to talk to people that are in authority such as a manager, police, etc. This really varies from person to person – but we all have an inner child that we relate to and helps form who we are.
I myself grew up where my mother was very authoritative and grew up fearing anyone in a position of authority. My mother wasn’t abusive or anything – but she wanted the best for me. I’m not going to be one of these people that I will blame everything in my life that has gone wrong on my upbringing, but at the same time, it did effect me.
Also, it didn’t help that I was a very sensitive kid, so it was like a double whammy. A perfect storm so to speak. So yes, the child’s environment does matter sometimes in whether he grows up to be shy or not.
A side note here: I was able to overcome most of these types of fears by not caring about the people in these types of positions. I really believe you have to tell yourself that you JUST DON’T CARE. However, just saying this simply won’t work. Believing it will. How you can train your mind to believe it is this. Keep telling yourself that you don’t care what people think – over and over again on a daily basis. Do this for 90 days – you WILL see a difference by the end of the three month period.
Also, you have to keep the negative thoughts out. Just because you are telling yourself that you don’t care, then a minute later – you start thinking about what people will think about you, the positive and negative thoughts will offset each other. The solution is to always make sure you catch the negative thoughts.
For an example, if I do catch myself worrying about what a certain person will think about me, I would stop it and tell myself – “Hey – I don’t care what [person’s name] thinks about me”. You always have to be on guard about what you think and always keep the negative thinking out. Your not going to accomplish this overnight, but overtime, you will.
Remember to be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day and you turning your thought process around won’t change in a day as well. You will see gradual improvements on a small scale, but nothing major. In the end though, the ultimate change will be major. A whole bunch of minor changes will result in one huge change. This is probably one of the most important things to keep in mind. Just keep plugging away and never give up on thinking positive. You will change!